h2no | IC contact

1. the vodka + some rubbing alcohol i stole from the pharmacy downtown

2. picked the lock w/ a paperclip

3. it was mother's day

4. my room

5. i usually know my limits. my bad.

GREAT, NOW LIST TO ME EVERYTHING YOU DID THAT WAS WRONG AND WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO TO FIX THAT.

1. getting my girlfriend pregnant

2. finding her body too late to revive her

3. being the one who's an imPort when she deserves it more, when our kid deserved it more

4. not dying from injuries back home like i was supposed to thanks to this healing factor

5. registering + thinking i could do the hero shtick

6. mixing too little orange juice w/ the rubbing alcohol

7. not dying. again. and not knowing how to live

8. getting upset when i would have been a shitty dad anyway lbr here

as for fixing it give me a minute. hour. year. it's all fucked up in my head at the moment.

[At least he had the good sense to wait until Archie was out of the house to send this so if he breaks down crying, nobody has to know.]

[hey archie, why the fuck do you do anything, ever? i don't know, archie! maybe because you're a piece of shit and you deserve this?]

I'M SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAD A REASON TO WANT TO GET BLACKOUT, BUT I'M STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOU BREAKING INTO MY ROOM. I'M GETTING A NEW LOCK. DON'T WORRY ABOUT PAYING ME BACK. YOU JUST GOT HERE AND IT'S BEEN A SHITSHOW, SO I'LL LET THIS SLIDE.

well you didn't have booze anywhere else. i don't normally go through people's stuff but there wasn't anything else. i got low

[This is a lie, he goes through people's stuff constantly, but he's too hungover to feel guilty about it at the moment. Besides, the guilt of failing his - his could-have-been family, his never-will-be family, that's a guilt that overshadows absolutely everything else. He's not even sober and he wants to get drunk again. He needs a case, a cause, somebody to go track down, something to take his mind off of this and put it somewhere, anywhere, else.]

we were gonna have a girl. i was going to have a little girl, archie

she would have loved it here

they both would have

I'M SORRY YOU DON'T. BUT DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN IT. YOU NEED TO KEEP THEIR MEMORY ALIVE BUT GETTING BLACKOUT AND SHOPLIFTING SHIT ISN'T THE WAY TO DO IT.

i can't outrun it. it's in my head all the time now.

a wise man once said to me vodka won't solve your problems but neither will water

[Hysterical broken snorts, not quite chuckles, bubble up in him. Emily. The drain pipe. The creek. It's hilarious and he wants to cry.]

ONE OF THEM AIN'T GONNA HELP YOU COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT HAPPENED AND START RECOVERING.

does anyone here have time travel powers

[Because that is the only way to fix all this.]

NO IDEA. BUT GENERALLY FUCKING WITH TIME ISN'T A GOOD IDEA. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THE HARD PATH OF COMING TO TERMS WITH IT. LIKE I HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT I FUCKED UP AND ALMOST KILLED ALL LIVING BEINGS ON THE PLANET.

i'm sorry i know i'm hungover but

did you just say you nearly genocided everything

literally everything

the fuck???

YEAH. IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL BUT INVOLVED A REALLY PISSED OFF GOD AND PRETTY TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES.

god isn't real back in my world

but if he was i wouldn't piss him off

WHY did you piss off god, archie?

[What the actual fuck.]

KYOGRE IS ONE OF MANY GOD LIKE BEINGS IN MY WORLD. I DID SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING STUPID. I THOUGHT I COULD CONTROL IT, BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH. I COULDN'T STOP IT FROM BECOMING ENRAGED AND ACHIEVING PRIMAL REVERSION.

you were going to hijack god to do WHAT, exactly?

i don't know wtf that is but i'd be pissed at you too, man

TO USE ITS POWER TO RESET THE PLANET. I'D CONVINCED MYSELF THAT HUMANITY WAS CAUSING UNECCESARY SUFFERING TO NATURE AND WANTED TO REVERSE IT. I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HUMAN CASUALTIES BECAUSE I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN I GOT CONTROL OF KYOGRE.

[at least he has a fun story to distract brendan!]

BUT WHEN IT STARTED TO CREATE ANOTHER OCEAN, ALL IT DID WAS HARM PEOPLE AND NATURE. I DIDN'T WANT THAT. EVEN IF I THOUGHT I DIDN'T CARE, I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE. IT WAS FUCKING STUPID, YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME AGAIN.

how are you not several hundred kinds of dead

or arrested

i'm pretty sure that shit's illegal

also: why did you care about nature so much, it is trees and rocks and water, it's not that special

I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT GOING TO SPILL MORE OF MY GUTS TO YOU, I'M JUST SAYING. I UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH IS A FUCK UP I DID MYSELF, BUT I STILL HAVE TO. I'M SURE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONES HERE TOO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD REACH OUT TO THEM.

reaching out to people means telling them

then they own a piece of me bc they know my weakness

i'm done being owned and used

YOU TOLD ME.

i went through your stuff, you're harmless. honestly when you passed on fucking me that reaction of yours said volumes about who you are as a person. you've got enough decency not to use this against me, i think

and if you do, you'd probably do in in a misguided attempt at helping me so it wouldn't be to a ton of people

besides, knowing i have a dead girlfriend =/= knowing i have a dead kid

the first bit will be public knowledge if anybody from back home pops up here, it made the papers when emily went missing and made the papers when i turned the one that did it over to the cops

second bit was something four people knew. half of which are dead

YOU WENT THROUGH YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THE PICTURE, DID YOU?

[there was only one picture. one of archie and shelly as kids with jirachi.]

IT'S STILL WORTH FINDING SOMEONE TO TRUST. I DON'T THINK I'M THE BEST OPTION FOR THAT.

of course i did. how do you think i found your stash? and no i didn't do anything to the picture

[Brendan snorts. Archie is exactly the kind of person to trust with this: someone sappy and in touch with his emotions, someone with rigid self-imposed standards, someone who therefore won't use it against him later. He's made some sort-of friends, closer to acquaintances, here. They're all still too unknown to him and he doesn't have the means to dig up dirt on them just in case yet.

He misses Emily so much. It was so easy to trust her, to tell her his every thought, and never once did he worry she would stab him in the back. Even when he was an asshole and gave her all the reasons in the world to, she hadn't. She never even had that as an option in her pocket-notebook diary; he should know, he stole it and reread it a hundred times over.]

i can't even talk about this shit outloud yet

and for some reason you haven't thrown me out of your house

so you're going to have to do. think of it as a business deal. i'll owe you a couple of favors. i can get into places without leaving a trace, you'd be surprised what i've been able to pull off. i'm surprisingly useful when sober

IT'S NOT MY HOUSE. NO. I DON'T WANT YOU TO OWE ME ANYTHING FOR TRUSTING ME. WHAT THE FUCK.

the point about not being thrown out stands.

well technically i owe you at least one favor for the booze thing

also please stop acting like this isn't how the world works, if you're trying to protect my non-existent innocence that ship has sailed circumvented the world and returned to port laden with exotic spices, archie

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