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He ducks his head in a not-quite-nod. It's a bit weird to know he has at least one emotionally competent friend?

"I'm not lying when I say you mean the world to me," he says, smiling lightly, though it's tinged with sadness. "And I'm sorry it had to happen like that right before Mars."

"It's just... not something I can do, and that fact isn't on you. I hope this doesn't ruin anything between us. I certainly don't want to leave you behind."

Edited 2018-10-12 23:57 (UTC)

"Archie," Jonathan says, tone completely serious. "I'm more comfortable around you than anyone else I know. With my real face, with knowing what I've done...with everything. I'm not going to give that up just because you don't want to have sex with me."

Jonathan wanted to have sex with Archie because he likes being close to Archie. He didn't get close to Archie because he wanted to have sex with him. As far as Jonathan's concerned, he has so much with Archie already, it makes no sense to throw it all out just because of the one thing he can't have.

He nods, assuming a romantic relationship falls under that purview.

"Alright. I'm glad this ain't gonna change anything, then." He smiles a little more genuinely, picking up his glass. "You wanna toast to fuckin' up the OTO and their plans?"

"No worries. It was silly. When I kissed you I just misread the whole thing and thought you were into it. It's better to have that whole awkwardness out of the way. So yeah, let's toast to fucking up the OTO," he says, raising his glass and going along with the change of topic, "And to fucking them up even more in the future!"

He nods a little stiffly. Yeah. Not into it, that's certainly what he was. No point being upset about it-- he's convinced himself it's better this way.

Archie pushes it away and laughs, clinking it then throwing back his drink.

"Arceus, I hope so."

Jonathan takes a large chug of his drink as well.

"And you know what, things went pretty well. I mean, sure, there was the radiation poisoning thing, but at least no one was stranded out there. That was honestly what I was afraid of before the mission. That we'd be killed too far from Earth for the nanites to revive us. But it seems kind of dumb to be that worried about that. I mean, back home I'm always just one step ahead of being caught by the Alliance, and nanites don't even exist in my universe."

"That seems to be something that was on everyone's mind," he says, a little glumly. You can't blame them, really... Archie was afraid of it and he wasn't even going on the mission.

"There's no point getting caught up in what-ifs, right?"

"You know what? You're right. We all got out of there, and even if worse things could have happened, they didn't. We should be celebrating."

He takes another drink.

"And I mean it, too. We should do something extra special to celebrate. On top of going out for drinks. Like...ordering jalapeño poppers. Or going on a boating trip."

"Is the crew not having a get together when 622 and Jacob are out of the hospital?" he asks, glancing over curiously.

"We can get jalapeño poppers, if you want. Not sure if I got any time for a boating trip with all this Aegis stuff comin' up, though."

"Well, yeah. There is that. I guess we'll just order jalapeno poppers for now."

Wait, did Archie just say Aegis?

"Aegis? You're involved with Aegis now?" It's not something he has any issues with, Aegis seems like a good idea to him, he's just surprised.

He nods, feeling a little relieved. Maybe doing something like that isn't a good idea when there's all these horrible feelings muddling between them. It's a choice he'd made to make it easier on himself, too, though he's not so sure if that makes him selfish or not.

Instead of thinking too hard about it, he just downs his drink. Focus on the question at hand.

"Yeah-- I asked if it was alright for me to apply just before the Mars thing," he says with a shrug. "I was startin' to feel a bit..." Hmmm. "...Useless."

"You have never been useless."

And he meant that. Archie had helped him so much, both by healing him and by being there as a friend who understood why someone might be a part of something horrible, even though common sense should have told him he was doing the wrong thing.

"But yeah, Aegis is a great idea. I'm sure you'll do a lot of good with them."

"Ah... thanks," Archie says with a weak little smile, though he's not sure he believes it. It's hard for him to see any good he does when he feels like the bad is so overwhelming. Maybe he will eventually.

"I hope so. Are you not part of it? You went to space..."

He doesn't realise Alke and Aegis are different. The green is blinding.

"Yeah, I did. I signed on for the space mission, but I'm not actually part of Aegis. I wanted to help out, but I don't know if I'm ready yet to sign on for a whole long term thing."

But maybe he would at some point. He just knew he could do space.

"Besides, I'm good at space. Besides, isn't there like...an ethics test or something for Aegis? I'm not sure I'd pass that."

"That's fair."

He doesn't know if he is either, but hey! He did it. "Not that I remember? I mean, you're far more than just whatever those would be, anyway. How did you get on with the Aegis people in space?"

"I guess I'm just worried I'm not good enough for it."

And he was ready to come up with any excuse to not even try because of that.

"But yeah, we got on pretty good. All the Aegis people there seemed pretty awesome."

An important distinction being that it was specifically the Aegis people he was taking about, because Dooku was there, and he is not awesome.

"Me too," he says, then throws back his drink. It's clear how he feels about that particular line of thought. At least Jacob is the kind of leader that inspires him to be better, rather than making him feel like he'll never be anything else.

"It's a choice, anyway. Who did you chat with?"

"Jacob, of course. And Quatre. And I worked with Ashley when we went down to the base. They were all great."

Okay, he'd questioned Quatre's optimism, thinking they could actually talk the OTO down, but he seemed like an okay guy.

"But like...when we were planning things, my first thought was to sabotage the OTO's air supply. I mean, I was glad to do something else when it was suggested, but that was still my first thought."

"Mmmm..."

That is pretty fucked up, but then... those people on the station - maybe not all of them - had attempted to murder an entire city and likely would've done worse if that original attempt had succeeded. He doesn't wan to think that means they deserved it, but... you know. They reap what they sow.

"Did you want to do it, or did you just think it was a necessity?"

"I figured it was necessary. It seemed like the easiest way to eliminate the threat without a big fight or extra risk to our lives."

And yes, he did prioritize their lives over the lives of people who were cool with shooting a nuke at Earth.

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