It's possible to over-empathise, and when you do that you ignore yourself. On purpose or by accident.
[he would know, considering he does the same shit.]
You gotta work out a balance between accepting that you can't do anything or just doing what you can, even if it's not enough. Sometimes you just have to accept that the kind of help someone needs... you can't give. But that doesn't mean what you do give them means any less.
[he takes the bottle, eyebrows raised slightly.]
There's always something to do. Don't forget that. There's always something, even if it's just as small as sending 'em a text to let 'em know you're thinkin' of 'em.
I don't think it's about growing too fast... I think you just expect too much of yourself.
[he shrugs, taking a pull off the drink.]
Are you trying to be Darin the hero, or just Darin? Because you can be both. It's not about solving everyone's problems or constantly working to make the world better. You don't have to do everything.
'Darin the Hero' doesn't exist. Please, there's way more people worthy of a hero title than I am.
The thing is, while I understand I don't have to do everything, most people do nothing. What I do needs to extend outside of my immediate sphere. Only then can it help others and inspire change.
[...all this time and he still can't accept that? guess it kind of defeats the purpose to do so...]
Of course. [and he means that; he'd never try to stop darin doing what he felt was right. archie's just concerned about him hurting himself.] ...You know, for the record, you weren't bein' selfish asking me to come visit. You don't gotta beat yourself up for that.
'Course I was. It's late and you were hurt at the scene of the incident too. I read the reports.
And, like I said...I know things have been a bit....strained between us lately. It's not that I think you wouldn't come. You're too good for that.
I was just...I dunno.
All this time I tried to help you, I realize now I was throwing platitudes at you when you all you really wanted was to just be mad at yourself. And...that's valid. Being mad at yourself for something, whether it was out of your control or not, is cathartic. It's easier to aim your anger inward than to point it at the people you care about.
That's...why I called you. I knew you'd just...let me be mad at myself and work through it while keeping me from going too deep. S'what you've always done best. You're like a regulator on scuba equipment. You keep us from drifting too deep that we can't reach air.
It's difficult to know where to point it a lot of the time. What's going to work or what's just going to make it worse, especially when it's about something you can't do dick all about. The things that have no solutions.
You know... however I feel about this world, it's not really the people in it that make me dislike it. Other than those villainous fuckers. It's not like this sort of thing is gonna make me feel negatively towards you or hate this world more. I guess... I'm sorry I'm always saying it all the time? I don't know. I'm not sayin' it because I want to make you feel bad about how you feel about it. It's some of that directionless anger that got no fuckin' where to go so it just goes... everywhere.
I know. And I guess I just feel bad that I've had better luck? Like...you deserve happiness, Arch. You're one of the people I would argue deserve it the most. And I guess when I hear you lament about the state of things...
I don't feel bad because I like it here. I feel bad because I think you deserve a good turn. To not have something taken away for once. That's all.
[hmm feels kinda guilty about all those times he wanted to quit and also his plans to quit after atropos is dealt with, assuming they're all still alive. bummer!]
Yeah, well, if nothin' else I wanna help see Jacob's mission through. We owe him and Kanaya that much.
...I think when this is all said and done, I want to put up a wall in the lobby.
For Aegis members that have since left and gone home to their normal lives. A place of honor.
And I'd like to put up a plinth of Jacob. He started all of this. Not only that, he's earned his happy ending. He deserves to be remembered for his service here.
I talked about somethin' like that with him when I went to tell him Kanaya was gone, speakin' of the lass. He reckoned it was a good idea then, I'm sure he'd think it was a good idea now.
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[he would know, considering he does the same shit.]
You gotta work out a balance between accepting that you can't do anything or just doing what you can, even if it's not enough. Sometimes you just have to accept that the kind of help someone needs... you can't give. But that doesn't mean what you do give them means any less.
[he takes the bottle, eyebrows raised slightly.]
There's always something to do. Don't forget that. There's always something, even if it's just as small as sending 'em a text to let 'em know you're thinkin' of 'em.
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...You know. It's pretty easy to forget the little acts of kindness when you're so dead set on broad strokes of heroism.
You're right. I should look to get back to my roots. Public works projects like Vigil Park in Nonah...
[As he talks, he can't help but find himself smiling.]
...I guess I grew too fast and forgot where I got started, in a sense.
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[he shrugs, taking a pull off the drink.]
Are you trying to be Darin the hero, or just Darin? Because you can be both. It's not about solving everyone's problems or constantly working to make the world better. You don't have to do everything.
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The thing is, while I understand I don't have to do everything, most people do nothing. What I do needs to extend outside of my immediate sphere. Only then can it help others and inspire change.
Re: [ACTION]
Of course. [and he means that; he'd never try to stop darin doing what he felt was right. archie's just concerned about him hurting himself.] ...You know, for the record, you weren't bein' selfish asking me to come visit. You don't gotta beat yourself up for that.
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And, like I said...I know things have been a bit....strained between us lately. It's not that I think you wouldn't come. You're too good for that.
I was just...I dunno.
All this time I tried to help you, I realize now I was throwing platitudes at you when you all you really wanted was to just be mad at yourself. And...that's valid. Being mad at yourself for something, whether it was out of your control or not, is cathartic. It's easier to aim your anger inward than to point it at the people you care about.
That's...why I called you. I knew you'd just...let me be mad at myself and work through it while keeping me from going too deep. S'what you've always done best. You're like a regulator on scuba equipment. You keep us from drifting too deep that we can't reach air.
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[he shrugs, leaning back.]
It's difficult to know where to point it a lot of the time. What's going to work or what's just going to make it worse, especially when it's about something you can't do dick all about. The things that have no solutions.
You know... however I feel about this world, it's not really the people in it that make me dislike it. Other than those villainous fuckers. It's not like this sort of thing is gonna make me feel negatively towards you or hate this world more. I guess... I'm sorry I'm always saying it all the time? I don't know. I'm not sayin' it because I want to make you feel bad about how you feel about it. It's some of that directionless anger that got no fuckin' where to go so it just goes... everywhere.
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I don't feel bad because I like it here. I feel bad because I think you deserve a good turn. To not have something taken away for once. That's all.
You don't make me feel bad.
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I'll be fine, one way or another.
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...I'm glad you're here. As a part of Aegis too.
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Yeah, well, if nothin' else I wanna help see Jacob's mission through. We owe him and Kanaya that much.
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For Aegis members that have since left and gone home to their normal lives. A place of honor.
And I'd like to put up a plinth of Jacob. He started all of this. Not only that, he's earned his happy ending. He deserves to be remembered for his service here.
Re: [ACTION]
I talked about somethin' like that with him when I went to tell him Kanaya was gone, speakin' of the lass. He reckoned it was a good idea then, I'm sure he'd think it was a good idea now.
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Then I think I'll talk to Ash and start pushing the project through.
I think we need something to celebrate for once.
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[a beat. he rubs his beard.]
Akobi went back to... bein' dead. I guess.