[maybe one day they'll talk about this and commiserate on their mutual compulsive guilt complex.]
Nah, don't wanna get you in trouble. I think I've smeared Aegis's name enough without bein' accused of corruptin' other agents. [he shrugs a little, grinning awkwardly.] I'll let you know if I think of anything.
[AND WITH THAT: it's a couple days later when finn gets a text letting him know archie's ready to talk about The Smorch and also an apology for making him wait so long.]
[ The Smorch. Whether Archie sent that along specifically or not, Finn still thinks about the term and smiles.
He's had enough time to cool his heels a little and tell himself not to overthink it. Regardless of what happens, he wants to remain friends, at least. Since he's confident this isn't going to come between them, he's not really all that nervous about this.
The fact it warrants a talk means it was something to Archie, though, and that's... kind of reassuring.
So, anyway, yeah. Finn shoots back a text that he has nothing to apologize for (except the reason he was in the hospital, but he doesn't text that part), before heading back to Base One and knocking on his door soon after. ]
[archie's home, but he still has so much hospital stuff to deal with he's feeling a little like... he might as well have just stayed? will work that out later. archie smiles brightly when he sees it's finn, standing aside to let him in.]
Yo! You're lookin'... healthy. For someone with a loud empathy power!
[fortunately, archie is only feeling good about this, so there's no negative feelings to leech into finn.]
Heh. Did you go see Guzma? [interested as to how that went, and interested as to if finn stuck around with some of his pokémon.] It's been rough and I still got a ways ta go, but I'm home, at least. For now.
[well, there's no point with small talk. he gestures finn to the seating area, taking his own seat. doesn't look like archie's pokémon are present, right now.]
So, uh... I'm not really sure how to do this. I'll be honest. But I don't feel badly about it.
I did, yeah. [ But the thread isn't over cause the mun had a busy week, so his knowledge about things is ???? anyway-
He follows him to sit down, having not been here since before he ported out. ] I don't either. [ And he seems relieved to both say and hear it. ] And, uh, I definitely don't know how to do this. I guess for me it only feels like a few days ago, though.
[ Okay... Now he's starting to feel awkward... ] Can I ask... was it just because of the spice? Wait, what do you call it? You know what I mean. That stuff.
I mean, I was unconscious for most of the last couple weeks. It feels the same for me too.
[he shrugs.] Weed. An'-- yes and no. Mostly no. It's kind of like-- it didn't influence me, it just took down some walls.
I guess... [he doesn't flush or anything-- this isn't embarrassing to him. he's mostly just wanting to do it without upsetting finn.] I wanted to do it for a little while. But didn't. Obviously.
So much so that Finn's kinda stunned at the admission for a second before finally collecting himself a little. Archie may not be blushing but he sure is. ]
I- I didn't know you felt like that. [ Hadn't Poe hinted at this once? Finn didn't take him seriously at all. ] I don't usually think too much about these sorts of things, but... I like you, too. And I liked doing that. Without the- the weeds being involved.
[ There was more than one weed. It's plural. Finn knows his grammar. ]
Oh, believe me, this is the most I've thought in... about a year. Almost two whole thoughts! [he doesn't bother to correct the weeds thing, doesn't seem pertinent right now.] ...Yeah, though. Me too.
[he closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling.]
I know you have some complicated stuff going on already. I'm sorry if that made it worse.
[ Complicated stuff. No doubt Archie's referring to the whole Poe situation. Finn has... a lot of feelings about the Poe situation. ]
It didn't. [ Though, he's not really sure if their little kiss had or not. Coupled with this empathy power, he could feel how much it had affected Poe. They had talked things through a little better than that, but Finn couldn't help his mixed feelings on the complications of it all. ]
Besides, I don't want complicated stuff to get in the way of my relationships. [ Poe, the only person out of the two of them who remembered it, had managed to move on. Finn wanted the same for himself. He wanted something, anyway. ]
Good. [he's not sure he believes that, but he's willing to let it sit as is. honestly, he doesn't even really want to dig into it and get involved. he's tired, and he's sure finn and poe are, too.] I was worried.
[a beat, then:] Just so you know, I don't expect anything to change. Not if you don't want it to, or anything. I mean, fuck, we both got enough baggage with all this, just--
[he rubs a hand over his face; feeling like he's messing this up.]
Am I even making sense? I'm not calling it a mistake.
[ Oh... Finn's almost surprised that he's a little disappointed. With the need for a Talk, he'd assumed this was going somewhere.
But Archie's right. They both have a lot of baggage, and this place doesn't lend itself to relationships if his and Poe's situation is any proof. But then he thinks of Andy and her husband and son, and isn't sure what he should be telling himself right now. ]
No, it makes sense. I get it. [ It does make sense, and he does get it. Other than a little relaxation of his shoulders, Finn doesn't show... whatever it is that he's feeling. ] I'm not good at that sort of thing, anyway.
There was nothing to worry about, though. Next time I do something like that, I'll try not to vanish for two weeks. [ It's kind of ironic, seeing as how Rose kissed him and passed out about nine months ago. Never did get to talk about that one. ]
[idly, archie gets up to saunter over and sit next to finn; he was serious, he doesn't want anything to change. he doesn't exactly sit in finn's lap, of course, but he sits on the cushion next to him.]
I still don't blame you for that, you know. [he nudges finn.] You told me about the person you kissed at home before something went terribly wrong. Do you remember that?
[ He finds that he's grateful for Archie sitting closer now, even if he did agree that distance was better for that sort of conversation. He also smiles a little when Rose gets mentioned like his thoughts alone brought her up. ]
First of all, she kissed me. I was too panicked about the big gun pointed at my face to think about kissing people just then. [ Rose didn't miss a mark, though! ... He missed her. ] But, yeah. I remember.
She did like danger, but I don't know about that much. [ He wouldn't be shocked if that was true, though. Anyway, he'll remember that about the side-effects. Losing memories isn't something Finn's thrilled about.
Oh, uh... His feelings... Finn shrugs. ] I like you. And I like hanging out and learning from you. I don't want anything to get awkward between us...
You know, I'm still not really used to the whole... social expectations thing. Don't get me wrong, talking through feelings is pretty great, but I'm not used to things like labels, I guess. Whether or not someone is or isn't in a relationship or how you decide to get there. I don't mean being exclusive either, I just- I don't know... Trying to put it into a box is kind of hard when I don't know what all the boxes are, and I don't want it to really be like that.
I don't want us to change but I don't want us to stop getting closer. We don't have to be like that but- Wait, am I making any sense? [ Probably not. He's just thinking about all of it at once. Rose's kiss. Poe's feelings about being broken when he wasn't. Finn's loveless childhood. All of it. He doesn't want any of his relationships to go into a category with pre-defined rules, but he also didn't really think Archie was that kind of person, anyway. ]
I get you, [he says with a nod. he's pretty sure he does, at least.] I'm not expectin' a label, if it helps. Or to... draw lines on the ground and say, this is what we have, outside the line is what we don't have. I don't think it really works like that either.
[he's quiet for a moment as he mulls this over, expression thoughtful.]
We can continue on as we are. I mean, hell, I'd want to keep gettin' closer to ya even if we hadn't kissed. You're my friend, I want to know you and see you grow in this strange-ass land.
[seems finn was right on that read.]
I--I guess I just wanted you to know I didn't consider what happened a mistake, or something that was going to change our trajectory into something bad. [he looks over, chin still resting on his fist.] I guess there's no harm in goin' forward knowing that... we don't know!
[ Finn finds himself really relaxing after that one, a happy smile coming to his face. This is more along the lines of what he was expecting and almost what he was hoping for. ]
Okay... Good. I like that.
Sorry, I was just-... I want to know you, too. [ That probably doesn't make sense. He'll try again. ] I'm glad we're okay. [ Better. ]
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I know. It's okay. I... was worried we wouldn't talk at all...
I'm sorry I left like that. I couldn't have helped it, I know, but I'm still sorry.
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[even if... he does kind of get irrationally furious with people when they port out. it doesn't last long. it's a weird form of grief.]
You're back now. It was a hiccup. We can and will move past it.
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[ But there's nothing else to say about that. ] Can I get you anything? Smuggle Mightyena in or something?
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Nah, don't wanna get you in trouble. I think I've smeared Aegis's name enough without bein' accused of corruptin' other agents. [he shrugs a little, grinning awkwardly.] I'll let you know if I think of anything.
[AND WITH THAT: it's a couple days later when finn gets a text letting him know archie's ready to talk about The Smorch and also an apology for making him wait so long.]
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He's had enough time to cool his heels a little and tell himself not to overthink it. Regardless of what happens, he wants to remain friends, at least. Since he's confident this isn't going to come between them, he's not really all that nervous about this.
The fact it warrants a talk means it was something to Archie, though, and that's... kind of reassuring.
So, anyway, yeah. Finn shoots back a text that he has nothing to apologize for (except the reason he was in the hospital, but he doesn't text that part), before heading back to Base One and knocking on his door soon after. ]
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Yo! You're lookin'... healthy. For someone with a loud empathy power!
[fortunately, archie is only feeling good about this, so there's no negative feelings to leech into finn.]
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[ Finn goes ahead and walks in, nodding his head in thanks. He's also pretty pleased to feel that Archie's pretty chill. Emotionally, anyway. ]
You're looking healthy, too, actually. How've you been?
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[well, there's no point with small talk. he gestures finn to the seating area, taking his own seat. doesn't look like archie's pokémon are present, right now.]
So, uh... I'm not really sure how to do this. I'll be honest. But I don't feel badly about it.
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He follows him to sit down, having not been here since before he ported out. ] I don't either. [ And he seems relieved to both say and hear it. ] And, uh, I definitely don't know how to do this. I guess for me it only feels like a few days ago, though.
[ Okay... Now he's starting to feel awkward... ] Can I ask... was it just because of the spice? Wait, what do you call it? You know what I mean. That stuff.
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[he shrugs.] Weed. An'-- yes and no. Mostly no. It's kind of like-- it didn't influence me, it just took down some walls.
I guess... [he doesn't flush or anything-- this isn't embarrassing to him. he's mostly just wanting to do it without upsetting finn.] I wanted to do it for a little while. But didn't. Obviously.
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So much so that Finn's kinda stunned at the admission for a second before finally collecting himself a little. Archie may not be blushing but he sure is. ]
I- I didn't know you felt like that. [ Hadn't Poe hinted at this once? Finn didn't take him seriously at all. ] I don't usually think too much about these sorts of things, but... I like you, too. And I liked doing that. Without the- the weeds being involved.
[ There was more than one weed. It's plural. Finn knows his grammar. ]
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[he closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling.]
I know you have some complicated stuff going on already. I'm sorry if that made it worse.
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It didn't. [ Though, he's not really sure if their little kiss had or not. Coupled with this empathy power, he could feel how much it had affected Poe. They had talked things through a little better than that, but Finn couldn't help his mixed feelings on the complications of it all. ]
Besides, I don't want complicated stuff to get in the way of my relationships. [ Poe, the only person out of the two of them who remembered it, had managed to move on. Finn wanted the same for himself. He wanted something, anyway. ]
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[a beat, then:] Just so you know, I don't expect anything to change. Not if you don't want it to, or anything. I mean, fuck, we both got enough baggage with all this, just--
[he rubs a hand over his face; feeling like he's messing this up.]
Am I even making sense? I'm not calling it a mistake.
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But Archie's right. They both have a lot of baggage, and this place doesn't lend itself to relationships if his and Poe's situation is any proof. But then he thinks of Andy and her husband and son, and isn't sure what he should be telling himself right now. ]
No, it makes sense. I get it. [ It does make sense, and he does get it. Other than a little relaxation of his shoulders, Finn doesn't show... whatever it is that he's feeling. ] I'm not good at that sort of thing, anyway.
There was nothing to worry about, though. Next time I do something like that, I'll try not to vanish for two weeks. [ It's kind of ironic, seeing as how Rose kissed him and passed out about nine months ago. Never did get to talk about that one. ]
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I still don't blame you for that, you know. [he nudges finn.] You told me about the person you kissed at home before something went terribly wrong. Do you remember that?
[he's thinking the sAME DUDE]
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First of all, she kissed me. I was too panicked about the big gun pointed at my face to think about kissing people just then. [ Rose didn't miss a mark, though! ... He missed her. ] But, yeah. I remember.
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Guess it wasn't much of a mood killer for her. Just checkin'-- sometimes weed makes ya spacey enough that you forget shit ya did.
[he exhales lightly.] How're you feelin' about all this? I just rolled on about my own thoughts but I didn't ask you...
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Oh, uh... His feelings... Finn shrugs. ] I like you. And I like hanging out and learning from you. I don't want anything to get awkward between us...
You know, I'm still not really used to the whole... social expectations thing. Don't get me wrong, talking through feelings is pretty great, but I'm not used to things like labels, I guess. Whether or not someone is or isn't in a relationship or how you decide to get there. I don't mean being exclusive either, I just- I don't know... Trying to put it into a box is kind of hard when I don't know what all the boxes are, and I don't want it to really be like that.
I don't want us to change but I don't want us to stop getting closer. We don't have to be like that but- Wait, am I making any sense? [ Probably not. He's just thinking about all of it at once. Rose's kiss. Poe's feelings about being broken when he wasn't. Finn's loveless childhood. All of it. He doesn't want any of his relationships to go into a category with pre-defined rules, but he also didn't really think Archie was that kind of person, anyway. ]
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[he's quiet for a moment as he mulls this over, expression thoughtful.]
We can continue on as we are. I mean, hell, I'd want to keep gettin' closer to ya even if we hadn't kissed. You're my friend, I want to know you and see you grow in this strange-ass land.
[seems finn was right on that read.]
I--I guess I just wanted you to know I didn't consider what happened a mistake, or something that was going to change our trajectory into something bad. [he looks over, chin still resting on his fist.] I guess there's no harm in goin' forward knowing that... we don't know!
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Okay... Good. I like that.
Sorry, I was just-... I want to know you, too. [ That probably doesn't make sense. He'll try again. ] I'm glad we're okay. [ Better. ]