Archie you don't just get drunk married to someone you don't like, [ His voice raised a little. ]
Fine. You didn't know you got married. Fucking stupid, but I can see it. But you literally just told me you don't even like the guy, and then tell me you went and got married in vegas.
This is a pile of bantha shit. He cares enough about you to go find Archer with me. So I don't know why the fuck you're still trying to convince me that this is some sort of altruistic crusade.
[he grimaces at little at "altruistic crusade"; both of those words are ones he doesn't like. let alone applied to him! archie's quiet for a few moments as he tries to work this out in his head.]
I don't know how I feel about him, [he says, finally.] I think--
[he cuts himself off with a frown. initially he liked guzma because of how he treated his team, but then commiserated on with mutual disappointment in their region's society... denying actually liking him...
you know, he's never actually been forced to think about this before. he should've, when darin called him out, but he stubbornly refused to.
he's pretty sure he's worked it out. or has come close to it. archie puts a hand to his temple.]
Arceus! I'm fucking projecting Maxie onto him! Y'know-- rival type guy that gets the whole shit about the failin's of people back home? Caustic friendship? That whole song and dance?
[he groans.] I didn't think this could get any fuckin' stupider!
[ Poe gave Archie a hard look, watching him and crossing his arms. ]
You're allowed to like him, Archie. I don't know if you're just not saying it because you kow I don't, or what. [ The edge hadn't left from his voice. ] How you got there isn't really important, is it?
You know he's not Maxie. Is knowing that you saw that in him actually going to change anything?
Projecting onto someone changes how you see them and how you treat them, so yes.
[continuing to rub his temple, finally:] Yes, okay, we're friends. I like him-- but I haven't done all this and denied shit and whatever else because I'm working towards some goal. You know the last couple months I haven't had a fucking idea what I'm doing and I barely even knew I was doing anything wrong until it blew up in my face.
[but now he has an opportunity to fix it, right?]
I'm sorry, for dancing around it and acting like a thoughtless fool. I stopped thinking about how my actions were affecting other people because it made it easier for me and that was wrong. I mean-- look where it's got me!
[not that what he just said is lacking in feeling, but archie looks up at poe properly, and says again with more feeling:] I'm sorry.
[ One of Poe's eyebrows twitched and he let out a breath, turning his head away to frown at the window again.
Force, he wished he felt satisfied by that. Mostly he just felt like an asshole, and yet it was still bugging him.]
It doesn't make a damn difference to me. I already knew I couldn't stop you hanging out with the guy.
But I'm not gonna let you try to tell me that you care about me more than you care about him in the same breath that you tell me that you married him. I'm not standing for that shit. And he doesn't deserve it, even if he is a dick ninety percent of the time.
[he's a little muddled on some of the messages here, but he gets the important ones. mostly it's confusion about why poe would WANT to stop him hanging out, but that's something he'll work out later, when he's not so worn out.]
No. No, neither of you do. That was stupid. Bad thing to say. [even worse; he doesn't know how much of it he meant. knows he can't in good faith ask poe to just forget about it. what an insult that would be.] I have no excuse for saying that stupid shit.
[he doesn't know what he wants or how he feels, but that doesn't excuse anything. it barely even explains it.]
I don't really know... how to fix that one, honestly.
If I thought it was something to fix I wouldn't have said that there was no point talking about it, [ He pointed out bluntly. ]
You're in the fucking hospital, Arch. Who knows how many drugs your on. I don't even know if you're going to remember this conversation. So just - just get some fucking rest, will you.
I need to cool off. [ He hadn't been kidding, that he didn't want to say something he'd regret. He knew his temper was short, and he knew he said things he didn't want to say. ]
And you need to rest. So I'm going to let you do that.
[ He walked to the door. He didn't really want to leave, but he didn't want to stay either - his feelings too muddled and conflicted to be of any help. ]
Just rest and then come home.
[ He didn't wait for a reply, he just slipped away. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Fine. You didn't know you got married. Fucking stupid, but I can see it. But you literally just told me you don't even like the guy, and then tell me you went and got married in vegas.
This is a pile of bantha shit. He cares enough about you to go find Archer with me. So I don't know why the fuck you're still trying to convince me that this is some sort of altruistic crusade.
1/2
I don't know how I feel about him, [he says, finally.] I think--
[he cuts himself off with a frown. initially he liked guzma because of how he treated his team, but then commiserated on with mutual disappointment in their region's society... denying actually liking him...
you know, he's never actually been forced to think about this before. he should've, when darin called him out, but he stubbornly refused to.
he's pretty sure he's worked it out. or has come close to it. archie puts a hand to his temple.]
No, I've got it.
no subject
[he groans.] I didn't think this could get any fuckin' stupider!
no subject
You're allowed to like him, Archie. I don't know if you're just not saying it because you kow I don't, or what. [ The edge hadn't left from his voice. ] How you got there isn't really important, is it?
You know he's not Maxie. Is knowing that you saw that in him actually going to change anything?
no subject
[continuing to rub his temple, finally:] Yes, okay, we're friends. I like him-- but I haven't done all this and denied shit and whatever else because I'm working towards some goal. You know the last couple months I haven't had a fucking idea what I'm doing and I barely even knew I was doing anything wrong until it blew up in my face.
[but now he has an opportunity to fix it, right?]
I'm sorry, for dancing around it and acting like a thoughtless fool. I stopped thinking about how my actions were affecting other people because it made it easier for me and that was wrong. I mean-- look where it's got me!
[not that what he just said is lacking in feeling, but archie looks up at poe properly, and says again with more feeling:] I'm sorry.
no subject
Force, he wished he felt satisfied by that. Mostly he just felt like an asshole, and yet it was still bugging him.]
It doesn't make a damn difference to me. I already knew I couldn't stop you hanging out with the guy.
But I'm not gonna let you try to tell me that you care about me more than you care about him in the same breath that you tell me that you married him. I'm not standing for that shit. And he doesn't deserve it, even if he is a dick ninety percent of the time.
no subject
No. No, neither of you do. That was stupid. Bad thing to say. [even worse; he doesn't know how much of it he meant. knows he can't in good faith ask poe to just forget about it. what an insult that would be.] I have no excuse for saying that stupid shit.
[he doesn't know what he wants or how he feels, but that doesn't excuse anything. it barely even explains it.]
I don't really know... how to fix that one, honestly.
no subject
You're in the fucking hospital, Arch. Who knows how many drugs your on. I don't even know if you're going to remember this conversation. So just - just get some fucking rest, will you.
no subject
[very cool, hurting his friend like this. at least poe told him, he supposes. didn't have to just guess from a brief look.]
Being here doesn't negate anything. But-- if you want to go after this, then I don't blame you.
[the implication being that he can stay, but archie doesn't want to risk accidentally using his situation to manipulate.]
no subject
And you need to rest. So I'm going to let you do that.
no subject
[it's clear in his tone that no part of him is actually angry at poe.]
I'll... be here.
no subject
[ He walked to the door. He didn't really want to leave, but he didn't want to stay either - his feelings too muddled and conflicted to be of any help. ]
Just rest and then come home.
[ He didn't wait for a reply, he just slipped away. ]