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[archie just lets him do what he needs to; he's a goddamn expert at giving Those Good Cuddles.

he thinks of the story odin wrote and knowing the answer probably won't be a good one, gingerly asks the question that's been hanging in his mind since he arrived.]

Odin... what happened to your dad?

Edited 2017-09-23 13:45 (UTC)

[ despite himself, odin does start to feel a little flustered again - after all, maybe he's going to annoy archie by going on about his problems, maybe he's going to say too much and scare the guy away - but he gets a hold of himself before it gets out of control. ]

Uh. Well.

He died. It was my fault. My mom died, too. There were others. Hundreds. Maybe more. People who I could have saved, but I didn't, because I was a coward. People who died directly because of things I did or didn't do. It's a pretty long and complicated story, and it's not one I think about too often, but. I mean, it's late at night and I'm alone in a world without any of my allies from home, so I guess some of the shittier thoughts I have sometimes got the better of me. I tried to distract myself by writing you a story? But. Well. Didn't work. Obviously.

[ he shrugs like it's no big deal and sits on the edge of his bed, stroking mightyena's fur. ugh, feelings. ]

There's a lot of blood on my hands. It's easier not to think about it. Worrying about the shitty things you've done in the past just messes you up, so it's something I try not to do. I don't know if you can understand that or not, but I hope you do. Or, well. I hope you don't, but I hope you can empathize, at least.

[mightyena is used to this. it shifts so odin can pet it properly and lifts its head to look up at him, big ol' ...red... eyes all soft and concerned somehow. it puts its muzzle on his wrist, still licking at him. don't be sad friend.]

Yeah, I get it. I've done some really shitty things too. Put people in danger because I thought I knew better when I didn't actually know shit. [almost destroyed the world u kno u kno. anyways odin's hero thing suddenly makes sense in the MOST TRAGIC WAY POSSIBLE.] Why do you think you were a coward?

[ weh. mightyena. too good for this world. odin scritches him behind his ears. maybe there's meat in the kitchen he can feed him or something. he'll have to look before archie goes home. ]

I mean... it's not something I "thought". It was a fact, I was a coward. There was a war going on and I was too scared to do anything. Someone was always there to save me when I was in trouble, and even though I knew how to fight, I was always screwing up somehow. There were these... [ he hesitates. he's not really ready to explain what zombies are. ] There were these wild animals in my homeland - we called them Risen. They were weak, but there were a lot of them? One of them killed my dad because I was busy being scared and he dived in the way of the shot to protect me. He was too strong of a man to fall to something like that, but 'cause of me... yeah. Then my mom, she-- [ nope, actually. that's enough. he shuts the fuck up. not talking about her. ]

It was war. I wasn't equipped to deal with it. My bloodline is full of these, like, amazing legendary heroes, royal men and women who had saved the world countless times, and then there was me, who would shake and cry at the slightest provocation and wind up getting people dead. I was in a position where people looked up to me, and I let them down. I wish I could say it was just in my head, but sometimes the bad thoughts you have about yourself are real. So, yeah.

Like I said. It was a long time ago. I'm better, mostly. I've been a lot more neurotic and pathetic since coming here, 'cause I've never been without backup before, but. I'm better. Nights are just hard.

Edited 2017-09-23 15:26 (UTC)

But... he made a choice to protect you like that. He obviously wanted you to live on.

[he rubs the back of his head, still feeling really awful for odin.]

Ya can't run into a war and expect to be able to deal with it. It's not cowardice if you get overwhelmed. You can only expect so much of one person.

Yeah. I know. When I remember the kind of man my dad was, I feel pretty unstoppable. Like I can do anything. I'm more proud to be a part of him than I am of anything else in the world. Still kinda sucks he chose me over him when he deserved to live and I didn't.

[ odin catches archie rubbing his head and his eyes narrow as he starts to fret about how he's acting all over again. is archie uncomfortable? is that what that meant? maybe he really is making this conversation too awkward. fuck, he really is a bad guy, huh? ]

I wasn't allowed to be overwhelmed, is the thing. I'm kind of a prince? There were higher expectations on me than there would have been if I were just some farmer's kid. I was supposed to be a shining example for my homeland, but I wasn't, and that led to real people dying. So. Yeah. [ he shrugs. ] But it's in the past. Not a prince anymore. Shed that identity a long time ago. Odin's not even my real name, if you really want me to be honest. Life kind of has a way of messing with your head and you've either gotta roll with it or let it overtake you.

Hey-- don't say that. I'm sure he woulda been proud to see you bein' all mighty and heroic the way you are now. He obviously wanted life for you more than anythin' else in the world.

[his expression crimps-- royalty, right. that would make sense. he reaches over and gives odin's shoulder a squeeze.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry ya had to go through that... I can leave Mightyena here with you tonight, if you want. He helps me feel better.

[then he forces a little grin.]

You're right on the money with not letting it overtake ya, though!

[ odin nods, and for a second, it seems like that's the only reaction he's going to give, but. ]

I actually got to see him again after he died - me and my cousin found a way back to before the apocalypse started, and we helped our parents prevent it from happening - but. We didn't belong in that world. Our parents were young, and we'd just been born to them there. We stopped that world from falling apart, but mine and my cousin's already had, you know? My dad was in this timeline we forced our way into, and I could talk to him and hug him and tell him I loved him, but he wasn't, like, my dad. He had an Odin already. There was no room for me in that family.

[ he's starting to ramble and he's feeling queasy and he's gotta stop. he doesn't think he can really go into this any further, even though there's so much more he can say. so he nods again when archie offers him mightyena for the night. ]

I'd like that. You can stay too, if you want. I mean - you don't have to. But we could stay up and play video games, and you could tell me more about yourself, and I can talk about things that are happy instead of stupid, and... stuff. Or not? We don't have to. I get that it's pretty late and that an old man like you probably has to catch as much sleep as he can get.

At least you got to see him, huh? That's something good to focus on.

[buuuut it's quite heavily outweighed by all the crap.]

I think you should try and sleep, bro. I'm fine, but I'll stay if you want me to.

...And I'm not old!

Edited 2017-09-23 19:47 (UTC)

[ odin nods. then nods again. then awkwardly steps away from mightyena, awkwardly steps closer to archie and wraps him in another hug. it's a lot less tentative than before. it's a tight, tight, bear hug that would probably crush the bones of a lesser man. odin's pretty strong, it turns out. ]

Thanks. I'm gonna pay it back. I'm gonna be here for you too. Okay? 'Cause I love you now. Nobody does this kind of thing for me. I really... yeah. Thank you.

[ bweh hug hug hug. so many hugs. he lets go eventually, but it's with GREAT RELUCTANCE. ]

I want you to stay, so. I guess you are? I guess you are! I'm gonna make pancakes. We can eat them and play games and gossip about girls and stuff. Okay? Sleep is for the weak.

[he snorts again and ruffles his hand in odin's hair when he can... move his arms again.]

No prob, bro. Thanks for sharing, that must've been real hard. Hold up, though, I really think ya should get some sleep.

... Maybe you're not a pancakes kind of guy. We could have marshmallows? I can make fire on my fingertips, so we wouldn't need to roast a campfire to roast 'em up or anything.

[ HE DOESN'T WANNA SLEEP HE'S GONNA THROW A TANTRUM. no he's not. his willpower is already wavering. ]

I get pretty shitty nightmares unless I, like, specifically cast a spell to make sure I have good dreams, dude. Can we at least talk about stupid stuff until we fall asleep?

I am absolutely both of those. Marshmallow pancakes for breakfast, how about that?

[he sits on the edge of odins bed again, low key scoping out placed on the floor to sleep on.]

It's alright, I do too. What'd you wanna talk about?

Yeah, okay. That sounds like a good-- [ wait, wait. wait. two things are wrong here. odin looks at archie like he's fucking insane. ]

You're not sleeping on the floor! I'll sleep on the floor. You can take the bed. Dingus. [ god, what an idiot. ] And - you have nightmares? I wasn't kidding about the spell casting thing. If you want, I can make it so you have good dreams every time you go to bed. Like, I can write scripts for them and everything! THE ONLY LIMIT IS OUR IMAGINATIONS.

We're at an impasse. I ain't lettin' you go on the floor in your own room.

[he crosses his arms.]

An'... I'll pass. I trust you, bro, but last time someone fucked around in my head it didn't end well.

[ okay, well! odin is okay with sharing a bed but he's not going to say that. he's just going to... stare at archie, then at the bed, then at archie, then at the bed. then at mightyena, because hi, buddy.

and then he'll get sad because maybe he made archie uncomfortable by offering the dream stuff. cool! cool cool cool. ]

Okay. I get it. [ he runs his hand over his neck. he's getting a headache. it reaches a point, for him, where he fucks up so many times in one conversation that he feels less anxious about it and more just short-tempered with himself for being so fucking insanely stupid and awkward all the god damn time. that sort of irritable attitude is where he's at now. ] If you change your mind, I'll be here for you. Otherwise, if you have a bad dream, tonight or some point in the future, wake me so we can talk about it. Or - if you don't like talking about it, we can just hug? Or play games or talk about something else or listen to music or... I don't know. These are stupid suggestions based on the idea that you wanna hang out with anyone when you're shaken up by a nightmare, which is stupid, because of course you don't, I never do either. Ugh. [ he shakes his head. ]

Just come to bed. Okay? We'll share. It's fine.

[archie should say thanks; he should say that he's glad odin has said he'll be there, but saying it aloud is admitting it's real. he doesn't want to. but he should. BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO HRHRNHGNGH.]

--Ah, I'll definitely keep it in mind. U--unless, can you do it with... no dreams? That would be cool. Really cool. [he puts a hand on odin's hand, giving it a squeeze.] Don't beat yourself up so much, bro. You're good.

[and in response he just LAYS DOWN. fuck yeah. mightyena's ears prick up and it gets up from the little nest it had made for itself, laying down with its head on archie's chest.]

I don't... think I can. I'll try to learn how, though. I'm gonna find a way to make you comfortable and help you out and-- whatever else. I'm gonna do it. So.

[ he nods. yeah. okay. between the hand on his and seeing mightyena be adorable, the melodramatic bullshit stirring in his chest calms down a little. once archie gets comfortable in bed, odin flops down next to him, bouncing up the matress a little bit and pulling the covers over both of them. and then it's cuddle time you piece of shit. he rolls onto his side and raises his arm like he's totally about to hug archie and mightyena, but then he reconsiders and wonders if that might be a bit too much. so he tries to turn the motion into a yawn, making exaggerated noises and stretching his arm up to the sky before dropping it to his side. it is very unconvincing. it is very obvious he wanted to cuddle the shit out of both archie and mightyena. ]

Thanks. Again. I know I already said thanks. But thanks. Seriously. [ he stares at archie, eyes wide awake. ] Tell me something really cool or happy that's happened to you since coming here. It can be anything? Even something small. Just something that happened in America that makes you happy to think about.

Don't-- don't strain yourself, yeah? I appreciate it, but I don't want you to hurt yourself on my behalf.

[fortunately for odin, archie is convinced. he just assumed that odin does that over the top the way he does everything else (tragically) over the top.

mightyena repositions under the cover until its head appears between the two of them and it makes a noice that can only be interpreted "fuck yes best spot" and it licks at odin again. good night kisses?? maybe.

archie stays on his back and considers an answer.]

... The people I've met here. We're all in the same ship but it's nice meeting people from other universes... even if they disappear sometimes.

I'm gonna hurt myself on your behalf just to spite you. That's what you get for being all modest and selfless and not just blindly accepting my help, you big ol'... hogweed. [ he's not really, but. choke on his care and love you jackass.

mightyena he can hug without it being weird, so he just slings an arm and a leg around the lil pupper like it's a big ol' teddy bear. it takes a few minutes for him to reply to archie, and when his voice comes out it's about 70% muffled by dog fur. ]

Yeah... that's a good answer. Everyone's really nice. [ he pauses. ] Well, that red-haired kid was a bit of a jerk, but I'll make him like me. Or die trying.

I will have no sympathy if you do that. [he says, wrinkling his nose.] Mightyena would, though, wouldn't ya, boy?

[the dog whines in response. pls don't hurt yourself odin.]

Red... ah. Niko? Yeah... he, uh. Has some mad daddy issues. His dad was, uh. Not good? He kind of overcompensates in every aspect because of it.

[ wow, he feels guilty as fuck! he was only messing around and archie went all nuclear on him by unleashing mightyena. look at those eyes. those sweet eyes. odin hugs the pupper deep. sorry mightyena. odin'll stay alive forever, unless he gets murdered, which will probably happen a lot.

he also wants to get closer to archie so he just sort of rolls over the top of mightyena and squeezes in the tiny, tiny space between it and archie. it takes like three full minutes, but he wriggles until he's mostly comfortable. thats better. ]

I mean, yeah. I kind of figured he had a reason to be angry at me? Nobody's just born mean. I just sort of thought that I was the reason and that I screwed up or something and I've been feeling shitty about it because I told him I wasn't going to apologize for acting the way I act but maybe I should have? Pretending I'm a great hero and insisting everyone goes along with the theatrical garbage gets pretty old, even for me. [ hmm. ] I'll make him like me, still.

[mightyena just lays there like a good puppy and lets odin roll over him. maybe any other dog would've bitten him, but mightyena doesn't. he's a good boy. and also used to muscle babies being babies.

archie also just lets whatever is happening happen, staying on his back.]

I dunno... sometimes people are-- but don't. It's not you, he's been pretty shitty to everyone. He has his own Pokémon he doesn't treat too well, even. [can you imagine having something as cute and perfect as mightyena and treating it bad??] He'll come around eventually.

[ it turns out this isn't actually comfortable after all. odin flops around like a fish for a while until he's on his side facing away from archie. then he flops around until he's on his other side, staring at archie. then he flops around until he's on his back, trying to imitate archie. archie looks cool. he at least wants to look cool, if he's going to be uncomfortable. ]

Oh... well. [ no, it's too uncomfortable. he flops until he's face down and his voice is muffled by the matress. ]

I don't want to force him into being kind to me or anything. That's not what I'm trying to say. But I think if he's hurting, I'd like to try and be friends with him so that maybe, in some small, insignificant way, I could ease that. Maybe I can bring some happiness into his life? I don't know. It's hard helping people be happy.

[archie grins into the darkness; odin is flopping around not unlike a magikarp. he brought a magikarp to bed once when he was a stupid kid and it flopped around, hit him in the face then jumped out the window and into the sea. thank god for pacifidlog floating on the ocean... his kidself hadn't really thought of that. too bad, he always kinda wanted a gyarados.]

Ah-- yeah, I get it. I don't think you could force him to really do anything, anyway. If it helps, he's easy to bribe with good udon, ha!

[for a moment, he's quiet.]

I think you make people happy. I read over some of the other responses to your video and... I know that was you puttin' on your hero face but it still made people happy.

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