[HEY GUESS WHO JUST FIGURED OUT HIS EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
HEY GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS NOT ABOUT.
Pikachu just so happened to be nosing about on a particular network post when he noticed what Guzma had to say about his nuptials, so in order to hide behind humor AS HE DOES, he is going to torment Archie.]
You and Guzma got married? Why wasn't I invited? Were your Pokemon the Bridesmaids? Did anyone wear white? C'mon, big guy, I thought up a million of these in the time it took me to call you.
[it's so cute pikachu thinks archie might be ashamed about this at all.]
I was blackout drunk, ya little rat! You think I remember any'o that shit? ...Guess we didn't have bridesmaids, Crobat was right pissy with me the next week!
That makes it better. Oh my god. [That only means he can continue laughing without feeling bad.] Okay, okay, but did you take his name? Are you "Ya Boi Archie" now? I need know how I'm supposed to address you.
See what I'm loving about this is most people? They'd just immediately divorce, but you two... You two are making it work. It's 'cause of the kids, right? Niko and Guzma's fifty delinquents.
[These are things that only happen in love, war, and the Pokemon Universe, apparently.]
Forget Niko, chief. You oughta be sending the certificate to Archer. The real revenge is reminding him that his jerk boss is as far from that kid's dad as he can get.
[Okay, so this really was about roasting him for marrying Guzma and not telling him, but also? Other things... He didn't really want to go there right now, but it's clear the conversation has taken a dark turn.]
Soooo remember when I said I'd be in touch once I figured out what was going on with me and Harry?
[Pikachu laughs near-hysterically.] You're not the first person who's said that! Amazing how none of us came to that conclusion. It's like being your own Pokemon is the most absurd thing in the world or something.
You can still call me Pikachu. I'm not... I'm not emotionally prepared to be referred to by my human name right now.
[He sounds so melodramatic right now.] At my apartment. Mind the bottles, but don't worry. They're bottled frappucinos. I'm so disgusted with myself right now, but I can't stop.
[to... all of that. archie cuts the connection and scoots his ass on over to pikachu's apartment, pushing the door open.
...he sort of judges the bottles, but also he's been depressed enough to just bite into raw ramen like an apple. it's like that sometimes.]
You look like Pikashit, [he comments wrly, when he finally finds pikachu.] you wanna scream it out? 'Cause if you were waiting for a prompt for that, take it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
video;
HEY GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS NOT ABOUT.
Pikachu just so happened to be nosing about on a particular network post when he noticed what Guzma had to say about his nuptials, so in order to hide behind humor AS HE DOES, he is going to torment Archie.]
You and Guzma got married? Why wasn't I invited? Were your Pokemon the Bridesmaids? Did anyone wear white? C'mon, big guy, I thought up a million of these in the time it took me to call you.
Re: video;
I was blackout drunk, ya little rat! You think I remember any'o that shit? ...Guess we didn't have bridesmaids, Crobat was right pissy with me the next week!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[this may be audio, but the grin is clear in archie's expression.]
So that just makes it even better!
no subject
no subject
[he hums, pleased with this.]
Hadn't even thought about that. I should tell Niko he has another dad.
no subject
Forget Niko, chief. You oughta be sending the certificate to Archer. The real revenge is reminding him that his jerk boss is as far from that kid's dad as he can get.
no subject
[he sounds a little more defeated there.]
He'll never believe that.
no subject
[Okay, so this really was about roasting him for marrying Guzma and not telling him, but also? Other things... He didn't really want to go there right now, but it's clear the conversation has taken a dark turn.]
Soooo remember when I said I'd be in touch once I figured out what was going on with me and Harry?
no subject
--Ah! Yes, of course. What's turned up? Did you find him?
no subject
[Just like Mewtwo said. Before he got imPorted and was too fucking confused to even think about what that even MEANS.]
no subject
...Yeah, we knew that already. Did you forget he's here?
no subject
[he gestures to... himself.]
no subject
The real Harry was... inside you all along?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Okay, PikaHarry. Where are you at?
no subject
[He sounds so melodramatic right now.] At my apartment. Mind the bottles, but don't worry. They're bottled frappucinos. I'm so disgusted with myself right now, but I can't stop.
no subject
[to... all of that. archie cuts the connection and scoots his ass on over to pikachu's apartment, pushing the door open.
...he sort of judges the bottles, but also he's been depressed enough to just bite into raw ramen like an apple. it's like that sometimes.]
You look like Pikashit, [he comments wrly, when he finally finds pikachu.] you wanna scream it out? 'Cause if you were waiting for a prompt for that, take it.
no subject
And then, he lowers it.]
I'm doing fine.
no subject
[archie sighs and pads over, gently picking up the bottle and moving it away from pikachu's tiny little man-hands. sits next to him.]
How'd you find out?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)