h2no | IC contact

[archie notes that, but decides not to mention it. mightyena immediately jumps up onto odins bed, tail still a-wagwagwaggin and makes himself a little nest of bed covers to lay down in. archie stays standing.]

So... you gonna tell me what's up?

N-No? I mean. I don't know? I don't know.

[ odin occupies himself with giving mightyena a lot more pats, as he is still a very good boy and deserves some very good hugs. he privately decides that if mightyena wants to stay in his bed forever, that's okay. he's totally willing to sleep on the floor. ]

Why d'you think something's up? Did I say something weird? Was it the story? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, if I did. I'm sorry, dude.

N--no, you didn't do anything wrong.

[he rubs the back of his head, moving to sit on the edge of odin's bed to try and figure out how to do this without fucking up.

for a moment, he looks away and to the ruined wallpaper, silently grateful that odin didn't actually get a cock put up there.]

I just kinda... got the impression you used your own real life experiences-- which, don't get me wrong, all the great writers do that, but they were kind of... worrying, I guess?

[and also kind of explains how he acts and why -- similar to what archie himself did. he put on the loud pirate persona when he wasn't comfortable being his actual self.]

[ there's still time for cockpaper

odin's face reddens the fuck up, alight with all the blood that just floods through him at once. he scrubs his fists through his hair and then over his cheeks to drain the colour from them, but it just leaves him looking disheveled and messy as well as embarrassed. it's really not becoming for a sorcerer of evil to be so easy to read, but that's just one of the curses he's been hexed with. ]

Haha, what? I don't. Hhhhhhh.

[ he sweats. it's gross. he wipes his hands over his face again, hair still sticking up in every direction. honestly, people don't normally call him out on things like this - there are people back home who question his identity, because he's a man without a past in the land he was ported from, but questions like those are easy enough to dodge. comments based on his writing are a little more real. ]

I mean. I guess? I guess it was real stuff. Some of it. I probably shouldn't have written my own shit into a story I was writing for you. That's kind of uncool? Because I made you the leading figure in a story loosely based on my own problems, which is not only a bit of an overstep, it's, like. Dehumanizing? It's a bit dehumanizing for me to turn you into a character and then use you as a stand-in for some weird analogy of whatever my problems are. Right? I'm pretty sure I'm right about that. So I'm sorry again. For that. But thanks for checking on me? If that's what you're doing. I didn't mean to worry you. If I write stuff for you again, it'll only be happy, like I said. Sometimes it's hard to control the creative darkness that pulses and ebbs through my super creative mind, and part of that comes from the fact that inspiration strikes me like lightning carving through the sky and setting a forest (ie, my creative soul) ablaze. So. Man.

I'm not-- Odin, I'm not bothered about that.

[he holds his hands up, trying to calm odin down. fuck he fucked this up already UAUGHGHG]

I'm just-- do you need to talk about that shit or something? 'Cause it was pretty intense and even the... mightiest heroes sometimes need to tell someone when they're gettin' a bit overwhelmed with all their stuff goin' on, ya know? An'-- it doesn't make them an less mighty or heroic if they need to, like, tell someone they're maybe not feelin' so amazing and up to fighting the world's evil. Y'know?

[ fuck, he's fucking up! he doesn't know how he's fucking up, but he feels like he's fucking up!! ]

No? Yes? I don't know what the right answer is. Not that-- wait. Assuming there's a right answer that you're looking for is the wrong thing to do, actually? So I shouldn't... do that. But I don't know what I should say that would be the right... thing... to say. So.

[ Odin runs his hands through his hair again, shuts his eyes and thinks for a minute. He's gotta calm down, because being flustered is just making this conversation hard for Archie, and he can't let the fact that he sucks at dealing with his own problems make Archie regret his attempt to reach out. odin thinks that archie's too good to feel bad for doing good. so. he focuses on his breathing, letting a stretch of awkward silence form between them for a minute rather than stumble over his shitty attempts at speaking. ]

Uh. So. Uhhhh. If you're really offering me your shoulder, yeah, I could take it? It'd be nice to have someone I could open up to about some things, and you've only been kind to me, so if it's not an imposition... yeah. But only if that goes both ways? I mean, I know I act unreliable, but I'm not, really. I'd like to be there for you, if you want to be there for me. Not that I know what you've been through, if anything, but-- I'm not so naive to think that you could be pulled from another world and not feel something about home that maybe you haven't been able to get off your chest to anyone. Or something. Maybe you don't feel that way. That's probably a pretty big assumption. Or maybe you did but you already have people there for you? A guy like you probably has a lot of friends you can talk to. But. Uh.

[ odin waves his arms uselessly through the air to indicate he hopes archie gets what he means. he just wants to be there for archie like archie might want to be there for him. ]

[okay words aren't working for the moment they're both fucking up it's a disaster. archie gets up without FURTHER ADO and pulls odin's dumb ass into a big ol' hug.]

[ a few dumb, baseless thoughts bolt through odin's head when archie steps towards him - is this gonna be, like, a kiss??? or is he maybe gonna get hit for being stupid??? is archie gonna kick him out of the room for being a pain in the ass even though it's technically odin's room and that would be kind of a fucked up thing to do to someone when you're in their home???

but then archie's arms are tight around his shoulders and odin realizes what's going on. he... relaxes, honestly. the heart that had been pounding in his chest slows, the nerves that had been bouncing under his skin settle the fuck down, and he just lets it happen. he very, very nervously, very tentatively, and very gently, as if he's afraid of scaring archie off, curls his fingers into the back of archie's clothes and nestles a bit into his neck. he really did need this.

he stays there for a minute before pulling back and looking basically anywhere else. he watches mightyena. that's a good distraction. ]

Nobody's hugged me like that since, um. My dad.

[archie just lets him do what he needs to; he's a goddamn expert at giving Those Good Cuddles.

he thinks of the story odin wrote and knowing the answer probably won't be a good one, gingerly asks the question that's been hanging in his mind since he arrived.]

Odin... what happened to your dad?

Edited 2017-09-23 13:45 (UTC)

[ despite himself, odin does start to feel a little flustered again - after all, maybe he's going to annoy archie by going on about his problems, maybe he's going to say too much and scare the guy away - but he gets a hold of himself before it gets out of control. ]

Uh. Well.

He died. It was my fault. My mom died, too. There were others. Hundreds. Maybe more. People who I could have saved, but I didn't, because I was a coward. People who died directly because of things I did or didn't do. It's a pretty long and complicated story, and it's not one I think about too often, but. I mean, it's late at night and I'm alone in a world without any of my allies from home, so I guess some of the shittier thoughts I have sometimes got the better of me. I tried to distract myself by writing you a story? But. Well. Didn't work. Obviously.

[ he shrugs like it's no big deal and sits on the edge of his bed, stroking mightyena's fur. ugh, feelings. ]

There's a lot of blood on my hands. It's easier not to think about it. Worrying about the shitty things you've done in the past just messes you up, so it's something I try not to do. I don't know if you can understand that or not, but I hope you do. Or, well. I hope you don't, but I hope you can empathize, at least.

[mightyena is used to this. it shifts so odin can pet it properly and lifts its head to look up at him, big ol' ...red... eyes all soft and concerned somehow. it puts its muzzle on his wrist, still licking at him. don't be sad friend.]

Yeah, I get it. I've done some really shitty things too. Put people in danger because I thought I knew better when I didn't actually know shit. [almost destroyed the world u kno u kno. anyways odin's hero thing suddenly makes sense in the MOST TRAGIC WAY POSSIBLE.] Why do you think you were a coward?

[ weh. mightyena. too good for this world. odin scritches him behind his ears. maybe there's meat in the kitchen he can feed him or something. he'll have to look before archie goes home. ]

I mean... it's not something I "thought". It was a fact, I was a coward. There was a war going on and I was too scared to do anything. Someone was always there to save me when I was in trouble, and even though I knew how to fight, I was always screwing up somehow. There were these... [ he hesitates. he's not really ready to explain what zombies are. ] There were these wild animals in my homeland - we called them Risen. They were weak, but there were a lot of them? One of them killed my dad because I was busy being scared and he dived in the way of the shot to protect me. He was too strong of a man to fall to something like that, but 'cause of me... yeah. Then my mom, she-- [ nope, actually. that's enough. he shuts the fuck up. not talking about her. ]

It was war. I wasn't equipped to deal with it. My bloodline is full of these, like, amazing legendary heroes, royal men and women who had saved the world countless times, and then there was me, who would shake and cry at the slightest provocation and wind up getting people dead. I was in a position where people looked up to me, and I let them down. I wish I could say it was just in my head, but sometimes the bad thoughts you have about yourself are real. So, yeah.

Like I said. It was a long time ago. I'm better, mostly. I've been a lot more neurotic and pathetic since coming here, 'cause I've never been without backup before, but. I'm better. Nights are just hard.

Edited 2017-09-23 15:26 (UTC)

But... he made a choice to protect you like that. He obviously wanted you to live on.

[he rubs the back of his head, still feeling really awful for odin.]

Ya can't run into a war and expect to be able to deal with it. It's not cowardice if you get overwhelmed. You can only expect so much of one person.

Yeah. I know. When I remember the kind of man my dad was, I feel pretty unstoppable. Like I can do anything. I'm more proud to be a part of him than I am of anything else in the world. Still kinda sucks he chose me over him when he deserved to live and I didn't.

[ odin catches archie rubbing his head and his eyes narrow as he starts to fret about how he's acting all over again. is archie uncomfortable? is that what that meant? maybe he really is making this conversation too awkward. fuck, he really is a bad guy, huh? ]

I wasn't allowed to be overwhelmed, is the thing. I'm kind of a prince? There were higher expectations on me than there would have been if I were just some farmer's kid. I was supposed to be a shining example for my homeland, but I wasn't, and that led to real people dying. So. Yeah. [ he shrugs. ] But it's in the past. Not a prince anymore. Shed that identity a long time ago. Odin's not even my real name, if you really want me to be honest. Life kind of has a way of messing with your head and you've either gotta roll with it or let it overtake you.

Hey-- don't say that. I'm sure he woulda been proud to see you bein' all mighty and heroic the way you are now. He obviously wanted life for you more than anythin' else in the world.

[his expression crimps-- royalty, right. that would make sense. he reaches over and gives odin's shoulder a squeeze.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry ya had to go through that... I can leave Mightyena here with you tonight, if you want. He helps me feel better.

[then he forces a little grin.]

You're right on the money with not letting it overtake ya, though!

[ odin nods, and for a second, it seems like that's the only reaction he's going to give, but. ]

I actually got to see him again after he died - me and my cousin found a way back to before the apocalypse started, and we helped our parents prevent it from happening - but. We didn't belong in that world. Our parents were young, and we'd just been born to them there. We stopped that world from falling apart, but mine and my cousin's already had, you know? My dad was in this timeline we forced our way into, and I could talk to him and hug him and tell him I loved him, but he wasn't, like, my dad. He had an Odin already. There was no room for me in that family.

[ he's starting to ramble and he's feeling queasy and he's gotta stop. he doesn't think he can really go into this any further, even though there's so much more he can say. so he nods again when archie offers him mightyena for the night. ]

I'd like that. You can stay too, if you want. I mean - you don't have to. But we could stay up and play video games, and you could tell me more about yourself, and I can talk about things that are happy instead of stupid, and... stuff. Or not? We don't have to. I get that it's pretty late and that an old man like you probably has to catch as much sleep as he can get.

At least you got to see him, huh? That's something good to focus on.

[buuuut it's quite heavily outweighed by all the crap.]

I think you should try and sleep, bro. I'm fine, but I'll stay if you want me to.

...And I'm not old!

Edited 2017-09-23 19:47 (UTC)

[ odin nods. then nods again. then awkwardly steps away from mightyena, awkwardly steps closer to archie and wraps him in another hug. it's a lot less tentative than before. it's a tight, tight, bear hug that would probably crush the bones of a lesser man. odin's pretty strong, it turns out. ]

Thanks. I'm gonna pay it back. I'm gonna be here for you too. Okay? 'Cause I love you now. Nobody does this kind of thing for me. I really... yeah. Thank you.

[ bweh hug hug hug. so many hugs. he lets go eventually, but it's with GREAT RELUCTANCE. ]

I want you to stay, so. I guess you are? I guess you are! I'm gonna make pancakes. We can eat them and play games and gossip about girls and stuff. Okay? Sleep is for the weak.

[he snorts again and ruffles his hand in odin's hair when he can... move his arms again.]

No prob, bro. Thanks for sharing, that must've been real hard. Hold up, though, I really think ya should get some sleep.

... Maybe you're not a pancakes kind of guy. We could have marshmallows? I can make fire on my fingertips, so we wouldn't need to roast a campfire to roast 'em up or anything.

[ HE DOESN'T WANNA SLEEP HE'S GONNA THROW A TANTRUM. no he's not. his willpower is already wavering. ]

I get pretty shitty nightmares unless I, like, specifically cast a spell to make sure I have good dreams, dude. Can we at least talk about stupid stuff until we fall asleep?

I am absolutely both of those. Marshmallow pancakes for breakfast, how about that?

[he sits on the edge of odins bed again, low key scoping out placed on the floor to sleep on.]

It's alright, I do too. What'd you wanna talk about?

Yeah, okay. That sounds like a good-- [ wait, wait. wait. two things are wrong here. odin looks at archie like he's fucking insane. ]

You're not sleeping on the floor! I'll sleep on the floor. You can take the bed. Dingus. [ god, what an idiot. ] And - you have nightmares? I wasn't kidding about the spell casting thing. If you want, I can make it so you have good dreams every time you go to bed. Like, I can write scripts for them and everything! THE ONLY LIMIT IS OUR IMAGINATIONS.

We're at an impasse. I ain't lettin' you go on the floor in your own room.

[he crosses his arms.]

An'... I'll pass. I trust you, bro, but last time someone fucked around in my head it didn't end well.

[ okay, well! odin is okay with sharing a bed but he's not going to say that. he's just going to... stare at archie, then at the bed, then at archie, then at the bed. then at mightyena, because hi, buddy.

and then he'll get sad because maybe he made archie uncomfortable by offering the dream stuff. cool! cool cool cool. ]

Okay. I get it. [ he runs his hand over his neck. he's getting a headache. it reaches a point, for him, where he fucks up so many times in one conversation that he feels less anxious about it and more just short-tempered with himself for being so fucking insanely stupid and awkward all the god damn time. that sort of irritable attitude is where he's at now. ] If you change your mind, I'll be here for you. Otherwise, if you have a bad dream, tonight or some point in the future, wake me so we can talk about it. Or - if you don't like talking about it, we can just hug? Or play games or talk about something else or listen to music or... I don't know. These are stupid suggestions based on the idea that you wanna hang out with anyone when you're shaken up by a nightmare, which is stupid, because of course you don't, I never do either. Ugh. [ he shakes his head. ]

Just come to bed. Okay? We'll share. It's fine.

[archie should say thanks; he should say that he's glad odin has said he'll be there, but saying it aloud is admitting it's real. he doesn't want to. but he should. BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO HRHRNHGNGH.]

--Ah, I'll definitely keep it in mind. U--unless, can you do it with... no dreams? That would be cool. Really cool. [he puts a hand on odin's hand, giving it a squeeze.] Don't beat yourself up so much, bro. You're good.

[and in response he just LAYS DOWN. fuck yeah. mightyena's ears prick up and it gets up from the little nest it had made for itself, laying down with its head on archie's chest.]

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