h2no | IC contact

CUTE, BUT WE'RE NOT ESTRANGED SOULMATES OR ANYTHING. THE CLOSEST WE ARE TO THAT IS REALLY AWKWARD FRIENDS. WE USED TO BE ON THE SAME TEAM BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND WE SPENT A WHILE TRYING TO RUIN EACH OTHER'S LIVES. IT'S KIND OF COMPLEX AND A MESS. THOUGH I GUESS IN A WAY HE DID HELP ME FIND THE GUY I AM ACTUALLY APPARENTLY IN LOVE WITH SO IT'S A WIN/WIN. WHY WERE YOU ON FIRE? WH OKAY, NO. DON'T TELL ME. JUST. PLEASE DON'T GET SET ON FIRE AGAIN? THAT'S KIND OF HORRIFIC. FINALLY: USE THAT WHEN YOU BONE DOWN. PLEASE TELL ME YOU USE IT WHEN YOU BONE DOWN. THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS. LIKE THAT BRUCE ALMIGHTY THING WHEN HE RIPS HIS OWN CLOTHES OFF.

Okay... well, that's good to hear... I guess. Sorry anyway.
And! Don't worry about it. People get set on fire all the time back home.
I would literally set myself on fire for you right now if I wasn't about 65% sure that human biology isn't supposed to withstand things like that and that maybe my cool elemental magic resistance powers got left behind when I was ported here.
But... then again...
I guess I wouldn't know if I could successfully enliven my mortal coil through setting myself ablaze to the admiration of the masses unless I tried it out. D'you wanna test that out after the dog thing?

And. I mean.
That does sound fun, if it wasn't literally impossible because nobody would ever want to bone down on a dude like me. Good plan, though. I'll keep it in mind in case, like, the miracle stars align and someone, somehow, gets a crush on me or feels even the tiniest shred of physical attraction towards me literally ever. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb dumb dWAIT

WAIT WAIWAIWIATAIWREATWIATAWITAWITWAITWAITAITWATIWATAWITWA.TA. TWAIT. WTAWI WATIWATATI.
WAIT!!!!!!!! RGHH!!! THESE USELESS EXTENSIONS OF BONE AND CARTILAGE THAT DARE TO CALL THEMSELVES FINGERS ARE OF NO USE TO ME, GIVEN HOW THEY ARE UNABLE TO COHERENTLY OPERATE AT THE SPEED OF WHICH MY EXCITEMENT WANTS THEM TO OPERATE THESE KEYS WITH FORTHWITH AND INDEED THOU'ST ALMIGHTY PERCHANCE.
Uh, I lost it. Something. Grammar. I'm excited, there's no time for that!
You're in love! You're in love. You're in love!! Tell me literally everything.

ODIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU SET YOURSELF ON FIRE ON PURPOSE I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF OUT OF SPITE. OKAY TWO THINGS: ODIN YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE AND SWEET, IF ANYTHING YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR MOST PEOPLE. SECONDLY: HE'S HUGE AND HAS MORE MUSCLES THAN BONES HIS NAME IS MATT AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I LOVE MIGHTYENA. IT'S THAT REAL.

Pfft. Whatever, square. I never listen to what anyone says. Half the time I don't even know the other person is talking. You won't be jumping off a cliff when you're on your hands and knees bawling and screaming my name and weeping at the sight of my majesty, as I stand before you, a living phoenix.

And I'm ignoring your garbage lies to talk more about Matt! I love him too. I love muscles so much. I wish I could turn my bones into muscles. That sounds like a really useful power.
How many kids do you guys have? I bet a lot. Like ninety.

I WILL PROBABLY BE HAVING SHARPEDO USE HYDRO PUMP ON YOU SO YOUR DAMN IDIOT SKIN DOESN'T MELT OFF. IF YOU CALL ME A LIAR AGAIN I'LL TAKE AWAY MIGHTYENA WALKING PRIVILEGES YOU ASSHOLE. YOU ARE CUTE AS SHIT AND ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU. WE DON'T HAVE ANY. UNLESS YOU COUNT THE TEAM MEMBERS HE HELPED TRAIN AND STUFF. THEN WE HAVE LIKE... ABOUT NINETY, ACTUALLY, YEAH.

That sounds really fun though!! You're just making me want to do it. I'm doing it. Get ready.

I don't want to be cute! I want to be hot. I wanna be a super-ripped mega stud ultra-stallion. I want guys named Chad and Chaz and Troy to see me flexing my biceps in the gym and just get the saddest, most jealous boners. God. You wouldn't understand. But THANK YOU. I GUESS. FOR BEING WRONG, BUT ALSO VERY SWEET, AND LITERALLY GIVING ME THE KIND OF PEP TALK I USUALLY HAVE TO GIVE MYSELF WHEN WRITING ABOUT MY SAD LONELY FEELINGS IN MY DIARY. I GUESS!!!!!!

I totally count them. Man, I'm so jealous. I wanna be in love and have ninety adopted team-kids...
But that means he was like, way up there, right? In your Aqua team? That's cool. I'm glad you had someone like that by your side. No wonder you fell in love.
Are you, like. Dating? Married? Does he know? Are you happy? Does he treat you okay? 'Cause I get that you love him but if he isn't good enough for you I'm gonna be mad.

OKAY THEN I'M GOING TO THE CLOSEST CLIFF I KNOW. HOT, CUTE, ATTRACTIVE WHATEVER YOU'RE ALL OF THEM. YOU HAVE A CHARM ABOUT YOU. I THINK YOU'LL BE REALLY POPULAR WITH THE IMPORT FANS. LIKE SWARMED WITH WOMEN AND MEN AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN. HE'S GREAT. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. BUT FOR UNRELATED REASONS I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

D-Don't! Don't. I was only kidding. I'm sorry.
I'm not going to light myself on fire until I can find a fire-resistant bodysuit and you're not going to jump from a cliff, you're going to watch from a safe respectable distance and be entertained.
Is that, like. That's agreeable, right? Haha, I don't even need to ask. Of course it is.

UUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME AND I WANNA RIP YOUR FACE OFF. You've gotta stop!!! I can't handle it anymore. I try to act really cool by talking about boners and stuff but it's really hard and I'm shy. So enough of that! You're wrong but it's nice and thank you. The end!

But.
Okay. Sorry. I'm glad to hear it.
Um, the weather's nice.
I still want a dog.
I learned about something called the Ars Goetia which has 72 different types of Demons in it and I'd like to try summoning some, if you want to help me draw some spell circles in blood or whatever it is those conjurations might need.

ONLY IF YOU LET ME HAVE SHARPEDO OUT TO USE HYDRO PUMP IF IT GOES WRONG. WELL TOUGH TITTIES!! I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH!!!!!!! IS THAT CODE FOR HOW WE'RE GONNA GET THE DOG?

You could literally do that to me right now and I'd be overwhelmed with joy.
You're basically asking me if I wanna get shot by a shark.
Of course I do.
Come on.
I'm gonna make it go wrong on purpose just for the opportunity.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wish I wore shirts so I could rip one off and throw it in your face. I'm gonna start looking into shirts 'cause dozens of times a day I wanna rip one dramatically from my body in a rage and I never can.
Ugh.
See? What was that. That was a stupid thing to say.
I'm gonna date a parrot or something and train it to say it loves me.

OH SHIT. YES? HOLY SHIT.
Get me a dagger.

SHARPEDO WOULD NOT DO IT UNLESS YOU WERE ON FIRE. AND I DON'T MEAN THAT AS ENCOURAGEMENT TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE BECAUSE THEN WE'RE BACK TO ME JUMPING OFF A CLIFF THEN WE BOTH DIE AND IT'S MISERABLE. START WEARING THEM? THOUGH PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. ALSO DON'T DATE A PARROT THAT'S BEASTIALITY JUST FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU. HAVE YOU MET MAGNUS? THE TALL ONE. I BET YOU TWO WOULD BE GOOD TOGETHER. NO. NO!!!! HOLY FUCK NO I'M NOT NO ODIN DO NOT DO WHATEVER YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO STOP NO

The wrestler? The really cool wrestler with the wrestling team?
Oh man.
Oh man oh man oh man oh man you can'T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT THAT'S INSANE DON'T SAY THAT KIND OF THING TO ME ARCHIE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SOMETHING I'M WILLING TO ACCEPT YOU SAYING TO ME THAT'S CROSSING A LINE THAT'S CROSSING SO MANY LINES HOLY SHIT LIKE FIFTY LINES HAVE JUST BEEN CROSSED AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE BEHIND THE LINES LIKE WOW LOOK AT ARCHIE GO JUST DANCING ALL OVER THESE LINES DOING BACKFLIPS AND FRONTFLIPS AND CARTWHEELING THROUGH THE LINES LIKE THEY AREN'T ANYONE'S BUSINESS BUT HIS OWN.
He's way out of my league. He's so cool and I'm not. Ugh.
I really like him. Oh man. I'm imagining dating him. Ahh. Ahh!! But no. No.
Jeez.
Ugh.
So embarrassing.
Ugh ugh gughg ughugughg.
I'm gonna kill you for real. It's not a game anymore! I'm gonna shove you off that cliff so hard.

I cannot believe how much you're oppressing me right now.
"No daggers!" "No catching yourself on fire!" "No getting shot by a shark (even though he'd shoot you if you were on fire, which is absolutely encouragement and absolutely a mixed signal)"
WHY DON'T I JUST HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I SUFFOCATE SEEING AS THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT ME.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ODIN. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM??????????????

I LIKE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE ONE CONVERSATION UHGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD JEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
He's just really cool and super out of my league.
And I have a crush on everyone who is really cool and super out of my league. I probably had a crush on you at some point, too, before I realized you weren't actually very cool.
I'm basically like a baby duckling that imprints on its parent, but my parent is everyone I meet, and I imprint on them in like a sexy way.

FUCK YOU I'M COOL!!! I KNOW HIM FAIRLY WELL. I THINK YOU TWO WOULD WORK WELL TOGETHER I'M JUST SAYING

Really? I don't know. Really? Jeez. I don't know. He's so cool. I'm not cool. I pretend to be cool and make up all this cool stuff but he seems actually legit 100% cool. That's everyone, though. Everyone's so cool. Then there's me. Uncool Odin, they used to call me. Well, Uncool Owain. That's my name. Did I tell you my real name yet? I guess this is a weird way to drop it. There it is. Uncool Owain, they used to call me. Not really, though, because nobody ever called me that, but. They may as well have.

Don't tell him anything about this conversation or whatever but you can call me cool and lie a lot about me to make him make me his friend if you want I guess.
You can do that with everyone you think I would be good with, because I'm super duper lonely, dude. Just super dupes lonely supreme.

YOU ARE COOL YOU CAN DO MAGIC AND SHIT!!! AND YOU HELPED SAVE THE WORLD, THAT IS LITERALLY THE COOLEST THING YOU CAN DO. WOULD YOU RATHER BE CALLED OWAIN OR ODIN?? ALSO I WON'T BUT I'M JUST SAYIN I THINK YOU TWO WOULD BE AWESOME TOGETHER.

Archie!! Colon open parentheses
I really appreciate everything you're saying, but there's no way I can agree with any of it. I'm too entrenched in years of self-doubt and cool, heroic hate towards the garbage human person I see myself as. You gotta stop, bro!! I'M EQUAL PARTS HAPPY TO KNOW YOU, EMBARRASSED AND HEARTWARMED, AND FULL OF AN ACHING DESPAIR THAT ECHOES DEEP WITHIN MY SHITTY DUMB CHEST.
But thank you. Seriously. Nobody says nice stuff like that about me. Semi colon underscore semi colon

That's kind of a big question. Can I have some time to think about it?
Wait, wait. I've decided.
Owain in private and Odin in public? I don't want anyone to know my real name if I can avoid it, but, like. You're you.

PS:
PFFFHSFHSFHSHSHFFSSFHFHSSF MAYBE YOU AND MAGNUS SHOULD GET MARRIED IT SOUNDS LIKE MAGNUS IS THE BOY YOU LOVE ACTUALLY YOU LOVE HIM SOOOOOOO MUCH MY NAME IS ARCHIE AND I WANNA KISS KISS KISS MAGNUS EVERY WHICH WAY ALL THE TIME ON ALL DAYS EVERY DAY MONDAY AND TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY AND THE REST JUST KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS

THAT'S FINE, I UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY I'M ME, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO USE IT AT ALL I WON'T. I JUST WANNA KNOW THE DEAL. LOOK, I LIKE MAGNUS A LOT, BUT IT'S PURELY PLATONIC. I'M TOO HUNG UP ON MY BEST BRO TO LIKE. HAVE ANYTHING SERIOUS WITH ANYONE HERE. IT'S THE WAY THINGS ARE.

I'm not saying you're you just to, like, say that, or-- I fucked up!!!!!!! I didn't communicate my feelings properly!!! STRIKE ME DOWN WHERE I STAND, MIGHTY THOR!!!
I've opened up to you more than I have anyone here! I don't mind you calling me Owain, but, like, I don't trust anyone else like that yet. That's all I meant! You're, like. I don't know. Close to me? Are we close? Did I misinterpret that? Is that an awkward question to ask? Disregard all of this. Let me start again, with an air of stoic, affable coolness. Ahehem.
I guess it'll actually feel a little weird to hear the name Owain again. I haven't used that for years. Only two people in Nohr even know it.
Maybe just call me Odin until it feels, like. I don't know. Appropriate. Maybe? But I don't mind you knowing my name. I pretended to tell you it with a cool, affable stoic air, but it's actually been on my mind since you slept over.
Life is hard and confusing.

But yeah, I understand. You know what's hard and confusing? Other than life? That's right. It's feelings.
I don't wanna bring you down, or say the wrong thing again, but,
Much like life and feelings, relationships are also hard and confusing.

YOU HAVE TOLD ME EVERYTHING STOICALLY AND WITH A REALLY COOL AIR. YOUR CAPE WAS ALSO BLOWING DRAMATICALLY IN THE WIND. YOU DIDN'T MISINTERPRET ANYTHING. I'M GLAD WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS THE WAY WE ARE. FEELINGS ARE VERY HARD AND ODIN YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND I WOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR MATT, BUT I MIGHT HAVE SOME SCRUPLES WITH MAGNUS. ODIN. I LOVE MATT SO MUCH I WOULDN'T EVEN HESITATE TO QUIT MY JOBS AND DO ANYTHING HE WANTED. ODIN. I'M IN PHYSICAL PAIN THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM. FUCK. I'M GOING TO PUT IT THE WAY I THINK YOU WOULD: MY LOVE IS DEEPER THAN THE SEA. SALT KIND OF STINGS WHEN YOU GET IT IN YOUR EYEBALLS AND IN CUTS SO LIKE I FEEL LIKE HIM NOT BEING HERE IS A BUNCH OF SALT DUMPED INTO MY OPEN WOUNDS AND ALSO CROWS ARE CAWING BUT WHAT'S THIS?? THEY'RE LAUGHING!!!!!!! AT ME!! BECUASE I WAS FOOLISH ENOUGH TO FEEL A FEELING AND ALSO ODIN I FUCKED UP I HURT HIM ODIN I FUCKED UP SO BAD I THINK IF HE EVER SAW ME AGAIN HE MIGHT HATE ME AND I'M STUCK IN THE FREEZING OCEAN AT THE BOTTOM UNDER THE WEIGHT OF HOW BADLY I FUCKED UP AND WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ODIN

I'M DROWNING ODIN

God, I love my cape so much.
But me too. It's hard for me to make friends. I'm really glad I found one.
You can be the best man at my wedding, should I successfully con someone into having one with me.

[ Odin doesn't say anything after that, because soon Archie's talking about Matt and it's getting real and all he knows is that he has to be there, there's something black and cold and scary stuck in Archie's head and Odin's gotta be there to help him vent it out. so... he packs up his shit, rushes right on over, showing up on Archie's doorstep fuuuucking exhausted after running as fast as he could. he's dragging in air like he's never had any before, and only five, maybe ten minutes have passed since he left, but he's got himself panicking. ]

Archie? Archie!! Archie!!! I'm sorry I didn't say I was coming over or answer your message but I came right over and I hope that's okay but now I'm worried you thought I wasn't answering you on purpose but I wasn't doing anything like that I was just really focused on coming over!!

[archie doesn't answer because guess what?? he's crying in the living room. he's being a fuckin' baby.

buuut. the door is unlocked.]

[ odin keeps hitting on the door for, well. a little too long for a smart person to keep hitting on the door without either giving up or trying another option, but. eventually he does try the door and nervously heads inside, following the sad sobs of a big beefy pirate and finding his buddy in the living room. odin's not sure what to do, at first, and he just stands there awkwardly, watching archie and feeling like the biggest most worthless piece of shit imaginable, despite the logical voice in his head trying to reason with him and convince him that this has nothing to do with him and he did nothing wrong.

eventually he just sort of slinks over and slides into the seat next to archie's, anxiously trying to find the right words. when they don't come to him, he just

pulls archie close for a hug. it's all he can think to do. he figures may leaving must have had something to do with archie feeling so raw right now. losing people sucks and there are never any words to make it better.

happy sparkle odin icon: not representative of his feelings ]

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text -> action

the saddest action

2sad2furious