h2no | IC contact

[It's voice because she'd rather not show how tired she is over the network. In person is okay though. She calls him up and leaves a message.]

Hey Archie, it's Angela. Are you...are you free to talk some time soon? I feel like I need to talk to someone.

[Guess whose merslut commission is finished and attached in a high resolution file.]

i asked for something really special so the artist gave you 2 dicks

will replace the booze when i have money. have cleaned the vomit. with bleach + disinfectant.

sorry.

[ archie will receive a call from tara roughly a day after the whole ruining downtown heropa incident. unfortunately, it won't exactly be from her number. if he picks up the phone, he'll hear the following, in a pleasant--if somewhat robotic--female voice. ]

You are receiving a collect call from the Heropa Juvenile Detention Facility. Do you accept?

ok the bat wont hit you and wont take a lapdance from me so i'll fight him and you twerk on him

Hello, Archie. I hope you have been enjoying your new work with NBSea.

fyi

[Archie gets a typed transcript of this video.]

Edited 2017-07-16 17:36 (UTC)

((Backdated to after this.))

That trick with healing pokemon better not have been a one off.

[She missed his response to the post.]

Archie, did you really steal Nikolai's pokemon?

[As much as Nikolai may dislike everyone from home, he's also a fourteen-year-old kid. Who just found something really, really cool that he has to share right away!

Attached to the link is this text.]

Go look @ teh 1st 2 pics!

Noctowl and swanna!!!!

this wurrld does hv pkmn!

[ One day, this shows up in Archie's mailbox. See you there? ]

[On the night of the 23rd(ish?), Archie receives a text containing a tilted photo of Red passed out in bunny pajamas with Pikachu cheeks scribbled on his face in marker]

[(There's like 3 empty bottles of Mike's on the table within frame)]

[And Blue's hand in the foreground of the photo, of course, is as such: 👌]

Archie, are you okay? Everyone's been getting hurt or having their stuff broken and I know you're tough, but I just want to make sure you're alright. I didn't think there were really all that many angry people until they took my bike and... stuff. Um. Anyway, let me know you're okay? Thanks.

Hey, uh. Thanks for the present n'all, I really didn't expect it. Uhm.

Can we talk? Soon? I mean, it's not, like--I just...

Yeah.

YO BRO YOU NEED TO HELP ME OUT
I WANNA SET UP A DATING PROFILE BUT I NEED A BIO

DO I DO SELF DEPRECIATING HUMOR (I HAVE EXPERIENCE IN) OR ATTEMPT WIT (LESS EXPERIENCE IN)

[Texted photo of Crobat in Blue's backyard, using his little wing-feet to scoop soil over a newly-planted berry while Exeggutor cheerfully levitates a watering can over the patch. Look at what fun they're having!]

Hi Archie, I'm sorry for the sudden request.
Can you head out to my house and pick up Scout for me? I might not be home for a few days and don't want my housemates to have to look after him alone.

arch

[ out of nowhere this fucking novel arrives in archie's inbox, probably at like 2AM when odin's bored out of his mind and unable to sleep ]

Once upon a time, there was a man named Archie. But he wasn't just any man! No. He was special. He was a mermaid. But a man. A merman. (Do you have mermen in your world? They're people with fish parts.)
Anyway, Archie was a merman. His tail was that of a shark and his teeth were as sharp as knives. He lived in the sea and he spent all his time swimming through the water with his mermaid girlfriends, or his mermaid boyfriends, if that was his preference. He also spent a lot of time with his platonic non-mermaid full-animal shark friends who were sort of like his pets but not really because they were more like best friends. Oh, and his mermaid boyfriends and girlfriends were also shark-y, like him. It was just a bunch of sharks in the Archie Sea.

Humans were mean and scary when it came to dangerous animals like sharks and shark-mermaids and shark-mermen. The stupid legged freaks thought sharp shark teeth were designed to rip out their fleshy landlubber guts, even though Archie and his apex predator friends were bound to the ocean and could only interact with the landlubbers when they decided to invade the shark-people's waters. For a long time, there was tentative peace between Archie's friends and the land dwellers, but it turns out that when people are prejudiced and defensive and threatened by an enemy they've concocted in their own heads out of fear and ignorance, they lose sight of things like peace and love and justice.

So, one day, the humans attacked. They took their harpoons and their nets and their spears to the sea, and one by one, Archie saw a lot of his friends get hurt... or worse, die. It was hard for him to see all the pain on the faces of his loved ones, as it would be for anyone. He saved as many people as he could, but the sea ran red and the tide pounded in his ears for far too long. When the attack was over, the ethereal quiet of the water that was once so peaceful, and the pitter patter of rain on the surface above him that once connected him so deeply to the world of the air-breathers... it wasn't the same anymore. He had seen too much death, and now, it all just hurt. It was all too confining. Home didn't feel like home anymore.

So he went on a journey. He had once heard tale of a witch that dwelled deep on the ocean floor, with hair of seaweed and skin of sand, and Archie thought that maybe if he could find her, she would be able to fix everything that went wrong. He swam and he swam and he swam until he was too tired to swim anymore, and as he closed his eyes and cried, he heard a beautiful, lilting song that filled his heart with warmth. The witch had a delicate grace, and she was there, waiting for him, playing her sea-violin which I guess is like a big conch shell with lots of strings on it. Maybe eels? I don't know. Her name was Odin and she was really cool and strong.

Archie asked Odin if he could maybe trade what little possessions he had with her to bring his friends back to life, but she didn't have that kind of power. What she could do, however, was send Archie back in time so that maybe he could stop the human's attack before it happened. The problem was... if she did that, Archie would be stuck in this new, second timeline, where another Archie already existed. He would be forced to live outside of his own life, looking in, knowing there was no place for him in this world he saved. But Archie didn't care, because Archie's a hero and he does what's right, and what was right for him was to create one future where his friends who died had another chance at living long, healthy lives, even if that all came at the cost of his own happiness. So he gave the witch everything he had, and she sent him back in time.

For weeks, and then months, and then years, Archie pleaded with the humans every time they came a little too close to the shark's territory. He promised them that his friends wouldn't ever hurt them, and that their sharp teeth were just tools for survival they needed to utilize in the rough ocean currents if they wanted to survive. Time and time again, the humans came to attack, and time and time again, Archie bought himself a little more time, telling them tales about why sharks were peaceful and loving creatures and why they wouldn't ever attack a human unprovoked. And then... one day, his words weren't enough. One day, he couldn't hold them back. The humans attacked, and Archie was overwhelmed with helplessness as he saw that old, dark fear he dreaded fill his friend's faces once more.

But strength surged within him. Odin the Great Witch didn't just grant Archie the ability to go back through time - she granted him courage, and the feeling flowed through his cool mermaid veins with impossible speeds. Archie stood alone in battle, facing off against each human, tearing them down, carrying the weight of their lives on his soul as he severed their spirits from their mortal shells. All of his friends survived the battle - but they were afraid of this Archie who came back to save them, and the sharp teeth and strong tail he used so ferociously against the humans who had come to hurt them all. So many humans had died at his hands.

But the shark people weren't judgmental, or bigoted, or afraid of courage or afraid of asking questions like the humans were. Though they were scared, at first, with time they each understood why Archie did what he did, and they learned what Archie had been through back in his own home timeline. They all wrapped him up in a big big shark hug. The Archie of this timeline welcomed our hero Archie into the fold as his own man, and told him he would always be welcome here, and that as hard as things might be sometimes, and as much as our Archie might feel like he might not belong in this sea sometimes, the love these sharks felt for him was overwhelming and unwavering. Archie found love, and a home, and though it was hard at first... he was happy.

And the next generation of humans were super cool and not bigoted and he made friends with them too and Odin the sea witch got to come play with all of them all the time whenever she wanted.

Edited 2017-09-21 15:01 (UTC)

Account name:	Log in with OpenID?
Password:	Forget your password?
	Remember me

[Voice]

text;

[text] (The morning after Mother's Day)

[voice]

text;

Private voice

text